Counterfeit Grace

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20140520-084310.jpg And now that the provocative title has you here, let me explain- Gods grace: is beautiful and perfect. Our grace: is a cheap knock off of the original. And until we take on and ingest the true article, we cant know the all consuming, life changing, beautiful design of God's perfect gift.... So, how do we find this grace when so many counterfeit graces exist?

Well let's start where we all must.. Realizing our darkness.

Until we realize how dark our shadows really are, until we realize how broken and disgustingly-destructive our rebellion and sin really is, we can never know to the full extent the beauty of the a saving and loving grace that Jesus offers us so freely.

So often instead of staring our darkness in the face and calling it what it is- we justify, explain, and excuse ours and others sin. Saying "there's room for this or that" "it's not that bad" "it's just what culture does, it's okay". Then when we are confronted with our sin, we say "grace is all I need" wipe our hands and carry on business as usual... But in doing this, we are not actually living in the grace we claim we are. Instead in doing this, we abuse, contaminate, and make light of the gift if grace that was given to us-not to excuse our bad behavior but instead empower us to change!

Jesus came and died to bring a new Kingdom to earth, a kingdom that is here to redeem, remake. But also a kingdom that is here to destroy the painful, destructive power of sin and the brokenness we've allowed it to have over us. I think in our minds that Jesus simply came to say -

"never mind, don't worry about sin anymore, you're all good, so do whatever you want and 'grace' will totally cover like whatever"

But if you look at what he really said in his words and life was (paraphrased)

"I have come to give you a new way, a perfect way. Leave your old self behind and find who you were made to be in me, and yes I know that your not perfect and will fail, that's why I died for you, so that anytime you cannot do it, it's on me... But you still have to try and work everyday at forsaking your flesh and the destructive things that you have allowed you rule you, and move towards me and the beautiful, living Kingdom I have come to establish"

When we "get" and grasp this, and hear what Jesus was truly saying, is when we actually realize the depth of his love and the meaning if his sacrifice. When our darkness in confronted by his light. We can no longer live in the shadows cheeping his beautiful creation of grace he gave us out of love.

When Jesus kneeled down to a woman he had just saved from stoning for being caught in the act of adultery, first he told her that he had forgiven her sins and no one could accuse her... BUT then he tells her something else "go and sin NO more."

Isn't that how Jesus deals with us though? He kneels down with love and gentleness next to us as we lay in the ruin of our mistakes, then he forgives us extending his beautiful and amazing "grace"... So often we think this is where the story ends, this is all that needs to happen, Jesus forgives us and that's it... But wait that's not where the story ends. Jesus then helped the woman up and said "Go... And sin NO more". What!? Did you see that? Jesus doesn't just leave us there on the ground, with forgiveness only. Instead, through His strength, He lifts us to our feet and gives us a command- First to "Go", to do something, to make an action and begin to change. Then to "Sin no more", to leave the old behind and to STOP the things that brought us to the ground in the first place. Jesus doesn't just forgive us, He does one better, He sets us on a new path and invites us to leave behind our dark and begin walking into his light... So we see that grace isn't the allowance of our sin and acceptance of staying on the ground, but instead it is the empowerment to even through our mistakes continue walking on towards the Kingdom Jesus has invited us into.

God says "I am Love" Jesus says "if you love me obey me" and "I am the way the truth and the life". Let these remind you that grace is not an acceptance of your darkness but an empowerment I walk towards light.

What Happened When I Said I Didn't Know If I Believed In God

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I waited with a worried heart and a furrowed brow for my parents to come and say goodnight. Usually it was a quick prayer and quick “love you goodnight!”- but tonight I had something to tell them that had been burning a hole in my heart.

I could feel knots in my ten year old stomach, while I unknowingly wrapped my fingers tighter and tighter around my sheets.

On the walls around me hung pictures and poster of heroes and great figures standing tall representing the strength a young man’s heart longs for, but tonight I didn’t feel strong or brave, as yet another distressing wave of doubt came over me.

The door swung open and my parents entered ready to send me off to bed as they prepared to end their day. After a short prayer and a pat on the leg they began to leave when suddenly I said “stop, I need to tell you something”.

Gently concerned, they turned back around and asked me what was on my mind. A bit of fear welled within me mixed with a twinge of shame as I took a breath and let it come out “I don’t know if I believe in God.” The words hung in the air, and the silence was almost more than I could bare. Then I felt the gentle hand of my mother rest again on my leg as the worry left her eyes and a sleight smile came over her face, “That’s okay.”

Astonished that my mother -the most godly woman I have ever known- so nonchalantly took in stride my doubt of God, I replied puzzled… “It is?”

“Of course” She said “Every true believer will have doubts and questions about God, that’s very normal, when I first met Jesus, I know I did. You are a great boy Nathan, and I have no doubt you’ll be a great man.” And with one more “Goodnight I love you”, my parents gently left the room taking the weight of the world I had been carrying, with them.

That night my parents gave me something amazing, through their allowance of my doubts they gave me the ability to know God on a greater scale than I could have ever known him while having a faux faith forced upon me.

From that night on whenever I would have doubts- having felt the freedom to communicate with my parents about them, I would share my struggles and thoughts. And consistently I would leave empowered in my fight. My mom would tell me “Don’t worry Nathan you remind me of the great biblical hero Jacob, who wrestled God”, “I do” I would ask wondering how? “Yes” she would say “And that’s a great thing, because wrestling is a full contact sport and when we wrestle with God we are in communion with him, which is ALWAYS a good thing.”

The song below was written years after that night in my bedroom, hundreds of miles away from my parents, in a small apartment in Hollywood. I had been going through a time of doubt and struggle with God, not unlike the struggle I faced when I was ten. I wanted to put all my fears and doubts into a song but felt a pause thinking maybe, I shouldn’t doubt God and just pretended to be okay. But then suddenly I could again hear my mother’s words echoing through the confines of my minds memories “Wrestling with God is a GOOD thing, wrestling is a full contact sport, and as long as we are in contact with God you have nothing to worry about.”

So with a pure heart, I wrote an honest song to God that ultimately brought me even closer to my creator.

That night in my bedroom, my parents gave me a gift. They gave me the gift of allowing me to doubt, struggle and fight, because they knew that is who God had created me to be. And because they allowed me to wrestle with God, they by default allowed me to be in full contact with him.

I encourage you, wrestle with God, doubt, struggle and be brutally honest with Him, He can take it, and doesn’t mind at all- when you do this you just might find that engaging in the full contact sport with your creator will bring you closer to God than you ever might have thought.

This is the song I wrote that night-

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBZu8Y3NwD4&w=560&h=315]

Get the song on iTunes here

Get the song on Amazon here

You Long For Another World Whether You Know It Or Not

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In the wake of the tragic events of a fellow actor and beloved artist (in what appears to be) taking his own life, at the behest of a lethal addiction- I watch the reaction of the world around me; I read in the status's of peers, expressing sadness and remorse for the loss of such a bright life. But in doing so, I also see something else- Many of those commenting on the tragic events seem to think the reason for this loss of life was because of the individuals fame, career and a life of being known by many and the pressures that came with that. At first glance, I mentally okay the logic and scroll on, but then I feel a catch in my mind.

It suddenly occurs to me... How many overdoses are there every year we will never hear about because the individuals involved are not famous, well known, or in blockbuster movies- But each having just as much or more "pressure" in there family, personal, or professional life as any celebrity we know?

After coming upon this realization, I am forced to maybe think that maybe the tragic events of us humans losing the fight to addictions, or even taking our own lives; fall upon something so much more serious than a job description.

While I don't pretend to know all the factors that played a part in these tragic events that happened over this past weekend. What I can speak to are the relationships around me and the tragedies I have witnessed first hand in lives of those whom I love and loved. I think it so often comes down to simply this. We live in a broken world, and no matter what this world tries to promise us this world does not fill the void we forever long for. No matter the amount of money, fame, respect (all the things we think would satisfy us) we were made for something else, that until we realize, we cannot find peace.

Someone once said

“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”

Another wise person noted "There is a God shaped hole in all our hearts." The poor and the rich... The famous and the unknown.

We will never know what we were created for until we know who we were created by. We can never fill the void we feel in the depths of our souls until we invite the one who created them, in.

YOU

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photo taken by my extremely talented roommate Ben Moen

 

Remember this today.

You are not an accident, you are not some random collection of cells wandering life aimlessly. NO, you are "fearfully and wonderfully made" designed by the master artist with purpose and intent. You are LOVED SO much, that no matter what your past holds or your present feels like or your future threatens you are NEVER to late to find redemption and live a beautiful story that was made JUST for you. Know that today, TODAY you have a creator (think on that for a second, you were CREATED) that has given his life just so you could have a personal connection -a RELATIONSHIP- with the one who powerfully holds the galaxies, masterfully engineered the atom, beautifully spins (at a perfect balance) all of nature and with passion and love created..... You.

Looking over

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What a beautiful site to see tonight in the Hollywood hills. If you look to the far left you can see the Hollywood sign looking out over the city where so many come looking for meaning and lose their way. But if you look to the far right you'll see a cross looking over the whole of the city as a symbol to God's unfailing presence and willingness to become apart of our world, save us and bring the prodigals home.

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Prodigal You?

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The Prodigal Son: A story that undoubtedly strikes fear into the hearts of mothers and fathers everywhere, and lights memories in the minds of sons and daughters who remember it's tale.

 It’s the story of a wayward son who demands his inheritance early, and ends up leaving his home and squandering his money on everything from sex to gambling.

The prodigal son eventually finds himself broke and in the dirt with memories of home running through his mind, which is when he decides to return home and beg for forgiveness and maybe just a job as a servant in his fathers household.

But, upon his arrival, instead of bowed heads of disappointment, he finds the loving embrace of his parent.

 I think this story is one we can all relate to, whether we are the prodigal or know someone who is. 

It is a story that has, or will become, a common theme as we observe life.

 Different people focus on different aspects of the story: 

 -As parents, I’m sure the immediate inclination is to ensure that it never becomes a reality for their children.

 -As pastors and teachers, I’m sure there is a need to show the detriment of selfish desires and sinful living.

 -But as a son, who has been a prodigal once or twice in his life, my interest lays in what pulls the Prodigal home.

 What is the voice inside when the Prodigal is the most down and out calls him home, and why did he listen to it?

Why is the wayward son suddenly willing to humble himself to the lowest position just for a chance to be back in his parents care?

 I can remember times in my life when I found myself surrounded by the consequences of my poor choices and willful rebellion. 

And the thing that ended up pulling me home, the driving force to my return to the straight and narrow, wasn’t the facts or opinions on rebellious living I had heard a thousand times in church. 

It wasn’t the countless warnings of sin (now too late to be applied, anyway).

Instead, it was something so much more personal, real and tangible.

It was the song of my home that would play in my ears, as I would sit head in my hands, trying to find the light in a dark situation. 

It was remembering the warm embrace of a loving family and an inviting home. 

It was the grace I knew my mistakes would always be met with. 

It was the warm meals, good conversation and the personal connection I missed with the ones I loved. 

Essentially, my reason for choosing to leave my prodigal tendencies in the past and return home to my loved ones was having loved ones and a home worth returning to.

 There is a Biblical picture for this that God paints masterfully throughout the bible. After all humanity (you and I) decided to live its own way and rebel against the way life was meant to be lived (as Prodigals). God first decides that instead of just getting rid of us, He wants us to have a chance at redemption by forgiving us.

Pretty amazing! 

But he doesn’t stop there. The way God redeems us and shows us forgiveness is giving us a chance at a personal relationship with God! 

But THEN He goes on and creates place for us to come home to, a beautiful perfect place where there will be “No more tears”.

God looks down on you and me, after our display of rebellious independence, and calls us home with to a loving embrace of a parent and a perfect vision of home...Heaven.