God Doesn't Care About Celebrities

I think we might live in a generation obsessed with fame.

I have spent many years in Los Angeles, a place where daily as I walk down the street I am confronted with a barrage of flashing billboards covered with beautiful faces with promises of becoming the next "big thing".

A place where I have spent the last five years working towards becoming an actor finding myself in countless conversations, in auditions, on set, at restaurants, even church, about finding that "big break" that will finally bring the attention we came here find. 

I have spent time with famous people, while watching adoring fans fawn uncontrollably, hoping for pictures and autographs. I have watched as paparazzi risk their lives running in front of traffic just to get a glimpse of a passing "star".

Even beyond my city, as I open my laptop or turn on my phone, I am faced with the realization that we are a generation obsessed with fame, and popularity, counting our worth by the numbers on a screen as we spend hours and days crafting the image we present to the digital world in hopes of attracting more people to "follow" "like" and "share" us, every click serving as the fix for the high we so desperately long to validate the identity we are building for ourselves.

And If I'm being completely honest, I want it, all of it. I want people to think I'm a big deal, someone worth jumping in front of traffic for a glimpse of, or worthy of a billboard. I want the satisfaction that my life is important enough to obsess over, and the knowledge that I am someone important. 

And the thing is, I get it, in a world that can so often tear us apart, and leave us feeling beaten up, insecure, unimportant, and unseen, of course it would be our natural inclination to find approval in a place that offers us a chance at validation, as temporary and hollow as it is. We look at our screens and magazines and see everything we don't have but long to be, put together, taken care of, adored, validated, respected, loved.

But recently as I studied arguably to most famous person in all of human history Jesus-- I found something very surprising. I found a man, who called himself "humble and meek". A man who claimed to be God incarnate, preforming inexplicable miracles, but would do so hesitantly because of a crowd saying "It's not my time". A man who after bringing someone back to life, told them to "tell no one" and man who, when being in the middle of a roaring crowd would disappear to be alone. A man who treated everyone regardless of title, sex or age, with the same respect and dignity. A man who chose to spend most of his time not on a stage, but eating, talking, and living with the poor, needy, dirty, broken, and outcast.

I was shocked, and gently stunned. The most influential person in history was the most humble.

After coming to this realization I saw how different the priorities of ours are to that of Jesus' (God's). 

Even the ones who call themselves followers of his-- daily I watch as Christian bloggers relentlessly vie and scheme for more hits and followers, while christian figures tout pictures of themselves with pop stars, I spectate as christian companies use Jesus as a marketing tool to sell more shirts, movies and music, while popular pastors soak up attention like rock stars, as they stand in bright lights in front of big screens and thumping music. And all of it makes we wonder, if Jesus were here today, where would he actually be found?

I remember walking into a charity event being put on by my church at the time. It was being held at one of the nicest hotels in Hollywood, and was meant to raise money for the needy. As the I passed through the doors past all of the shiny people into the event, there in front of the stage was an area roped off with velvet barriers, complete with bottle service, and comfortable furniture, it was the area reserved for VIP's and celebrities. I watched as the pretty and rich were ushered in, while the rest of us looked on. Part of me wanted in, wanted to feel the pleasure of being seen as someone important enough separated from the "normals". But then another part of me wondered if Jesus had showed up that night, would he have made it in? My guess is no, my guess is that even if he could've he would have chosen to spend his time with those who might never be rich or important enough to be in what the world considers the VIP area. In fact I wonder if he would have been there at all, or perhaps more likely he would have been on the streets with the homeless who wouldn't have even made it inside. 

So I have come to the conclusion that I don't think God cares about celebrities, he cares about people. Don't get me wrong, I think fame can be used for good, and popularity for a positive effect, but more often than not, we create it into an idol to be worshiped instead of a tool to be used; and in the end the only thing God cares about is our hearts. 

What would it look like instead of working to build more popularity or our "online presence", we worked towards kindness? How would we change if we put a little less effort into racking up accomplishments, and instead made moral decisions when no one is watching and "likes" aren't a possibility? What would it look like if instead of trying so hard to get into to be considered a VIP, we make effort to make those around us the very important people? Could it be that perhaps we would begin to find true validation in who we were created to be and not the facade we are trying to create?

I think there's a certain freedom to be found in the truth that the creator of the universe doesn't care about your status, bank account, accomplishments, or popularity but instead simply cares about you. That his main concern isn't your outward appearance, but instead the condition of your heart.

And while, another "like", and a new line on a resume is nice-- how beautiful is it to know that regardless of anything you can do, the creator of the universe adores you, to the point of giving his life for you? A realization of this magnitude will forever outweigh any fading accolade from this world.

With that said, you should totally share this post and follow me here

God, Can You Hear Me?

I think no matter who you are or what you believe, we have all been in a place where we have looked up and said "God, can you hear me?" I know I have. This past year has been one of the hardest I have ever experienced, I have felt loss, and pain, but I have also felt myself draw nearer to my creator. This poem is something that was created out of the experiences I have felt recently, I hope it can connect to you.

"What do we do when our dreams don’t come true, when what we thought would be is lost, and what we hoped, fought, and lived for dies?

What do we do when the ones we love, leave? When we give our souls to those who simply cannot give theirs back, and we find our hearts broken.

What do we do when we are all alone, while the silence screams at us, reminding us of all the mistakes we have made, and the things we didn’t do.

What do we do when we are betrayed by kisses and promises of forever. When we stare into the beautiful “what could have been” and powerlessly watch it fall apart in front of our eyes.

What do we do when love becomes hard, and we face a broken world that threatens to make our love cold, and our spirits bitter?

What do we do when we no longer know if we can love, or even what love is at all? 

Does God still see me? Does He care?"

The Danger of Accepting Yourself as you Are (The More Beautiful You)

"You're perfect the way you are"

"Just accept yourself and you'll be happy"

"Don't ever change"

These are just some of the phrases that we have grown all to accustomed to, and I confess, I became so immune to hearing them I didn't realize the damage they could do should we actually believe them.

There's a thought now, that accepting yourself the way you are, and the things you do, will bring about happiness. That all those years spent worried about what other people think, and trying to be something you weren't meant to be, will be made right, when we simply stop trying.

And like every effective lie, there is a hint of beautiful truth in it. There's truth in the fact that we are no longer supposed to lives by others standards, and that there are things that we are simply not, cannot, and should not strive to be, and yes loving ourselves is an imperative for a healthy life.

But does it stop there?

If we take this as evidence that there is no standard for us to live up to, nor any versions of ourselves we should to strive for beyond the one we currently inhabit. I think we do our hearts, souls, bodies, and relationships a grand disservice.

I believe in God, I believe in the design behind the universe, I believe in purpose. When you look at any facet of life, at its root you will find the fingerprints of an artist, weaving together both physical and abstract for a beautiful intention to live into. God tells us we are "fearfully and wonderfully made". And the arch of Jesus' message was urging us the realize the the we were put in a story that moves us forward into greater beauty and fullness the more we choose to follow it.

But there is another factor a play, our own darkness, rebellion, and resistance to work and feel pain. It's our desire to do things our way, apart from that design, and apart from the pressure to live into the person we were created to be.

I can remember a time in my life, when after growing tired of worrying and struggling with the disappointment of being unhealthy, depressed and 40 pounds overweight, I gave up. I didn't know it though, in fact when I gave up I believed in my heart I was doing something good. I said to myself, "this is who I am, and I accept myself". But if I was honest wasn't happy with who I was, but to face the truth was painful and something I wasn't willing to do, so I found escapes and distractions that made me feel better about myself temporarily but ultimately kept me away from health and pushed me further away from the better person I could become. The reality was, I wasn't actually accepting myself, but instead denying myself the better person I could become.
When I stared at the realization that becoming a person of health took time, healthy eating, exercise, pain, and patience, I decided it was a journey I didn't want to take, and so justified my unhealthy behavior, and anesthetized the pain I felt with things that served to only hurt me more. By announcing I accepted myself for who I was, allowing, and giving myself justification to remain in my own darkness.

To simply, and concretely accept ourselves the way we are, denies ourselves the beauty of the creatures we could become. This truth finds its way into every facet of life, physical, mental, professional, etc.

So often when faced with the shortcomings in our lives, our first reaction is to deny, justify, escape, anesthetize, instead of facing head on our inevitable brokenness and making the hard and more time consuming choice to be an agent of life in the world that so needs it.

The hard truth is, we live in an imperfect world, one that is filled with sickness, disease, abuse, hurt, baggage, addiction, injustice, and fear. And believe it or not, everyone of us been touched by the brokenness that this world has to offer. None of us are perfect, "no not one". None of us are even close. But the beauty, I see, is that our loving Creator accepts us in the middle of our brokenness and pain, but doesn't stop there. He then offers us what no one else can, a story forward. But to live into Beautiful story, we must stop accepting our brokenness as health, stop looking to escape the hurt, and instead learn to recognize and face our pain and brokenness. We must learn to desire the light He offers more the safety and comfort of the darkness we already live.

In a culture that seeks only to anesthetize, escape, and ignore hurt, I believe we are called to experience, acknowledge, and feel fully the pain of life, so that redemption can be achieved.

It's only when walk through the dark, can we appreciate and crave the light. Pain is the muscle that tears to make us stronger and the surgery that cuts to make us whole.

Don't run from hurt but instead embrace, own, and live with it. What will feel like death will be the catalyst to finding life.

Being a person who seeks only to "feel" better about them selves, will find their journey one of escape, addiction, blame, and denial ultimately leading to deeper cyclical pain. 

But a person actually dedicated "becoming" a better self, will have a story of hard work, realization, dedication, introspection, and humility which will lead ultimately to becoming a more whole and strong person.

I encourage you to remember, we all have different paths, different battles, different darkness as individuals we must face. And it's easy to judge other people's paths because you have not been on it, or someone else's fights because it is not your own. But the reality is you have your own paths, and fights to experience. The beauty is realizing whatever journey and battle you or anyone else is facing, we can know we are loved no matter what, and because of that love, we have a way forward, past simply coming to terms with our weakness, and into a stronger more beautiful self.

So wherever you are today, know first you are loved and accepted wherever you are whatever you have done or become, but also know that you have an opportunity to not just escape, or passively accept yourself but you are actually given the opportunity to become a more whole and beautiful you. 

What is Love?

“Love” is a word that has inundated itself within the vocabulary of our generation weaving itself in and out of the public and private conversation being wielded as a rally cry for movements, and a trump card for arguments. 

“Love” is something we say when we feel so strongly about something, when we don’t know how else to describe it. 

“Love” it is the word in which we wrap up our deepest emotions, in hoping to convey the depth of our commitment to the ones we share our lives with. 

But even in the midst of of the never ending barrage of a culture obsessed with the use of the word “love”, I somehow find myself confused as to what it actually means. 

What actually is love? What does love look like lived out and acted on? What does it truly mean to love someone?

I so desperately want to know, because daily I find myself looking at humanity completely confused at a generation who says it “loves life” but then terminates the lives that come at inopportune times.

Or cries, “love everyone” from the top of their lungs, and then go on to hate the person next to them when they believe something different.

Or when two people vow in front of God to love each other forever, committing to remain faithful “for better or worse” but then leave when the feelings have gone.

If I didn’t know better, I would assume that this word -that many say includes unconditional commitment, sacrifice, and dedication- would seem is only real when it’s convenient, fun, easy, and makes us feel good. 

And if this is true, I think that “love” is something I no longer want any part of.

I always hoped and believed that love was more than just a nice sentiment or pretty adjective, but instead was something stronger than any human emotion, something that pulled us through our weakness even when our strength was failing and our feelings waning. 

I always wanted believe that love was bigger than us, and wasn’t bound by the brokenness to deeply imprinted within us. 

But as we look at humanity it’s clear that on our own, our love fails. So what hope do we have?

Could it be, that our hope must lie beyond our selves, beyond the mistakes we are bound to make, and the weakness we are fated to live with. Our hope for love must lay is something less mortal than our failing and dying bodies and wills, and stronger than the darkness in our hearts.

Is it possible that our hope for true love lays beyond anything we have to offer, and its true definition is found only in the designer of love itself. 

Could it be that love can not survive in our natural and broken mortality, but is instead to endure it must be found in the eternal hands of a timeless and perfect creator, who first demonstrated what true love is.

I don’t know... But if there is a definition of what true “Love” really is, one that calls out to us offering us a choice to take part in what pure, eternal love really actually looks like, a love that outlasts our failings, and offers us healing for our broken hearts. A definition of love that could gives us strength to remain faithful even in our human relationships should we choose it, it might look something like this...

“Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Love doesn’t strut,

Doesn’t have a swelled head,

Doesn’t force itself on others,

Isn’t always “me first,”

Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.”

Because of our brokenness and the fallen world in which we live, as long as we are here we will never be able to love perfectly. But, because of the grace of our creator we have a chance to enter in a new definition of love that I believe has to ability to change our lives, and even the world.

Though, this definition of love is not a feeling, or an emotion, but a choice we must make. Will you make the choice to make this eternal, pure, and true definition of love your love?

Waking, Outside, Naked [Where to talk to God]

I believe some pretty extraordinary things. 

The first, I believe that you, I and every thing in existence was intentionally created and designed by an intelligent being. Crazy...

The second, I believe that being loves his creation (me and you) and earnestly desires to be in relationship with us... Even crazier, I know...

Daily, feebly, but intentionally I take the offer that stands before me, the offer to commune with the designer of my existence. For my entire life I have done this, sometimes more, sometimes less, but always moving ever so slightly into a deeper connection with God.

Should you want to know your creator, I have listed the three best places I have found to meet, talk, converse, understand, hear, yell, scream, praise, love, admire, feel, and know Him. The places I can feel his presence most, and the places I have found the most freedom to humbly express my honest, raw, feelings to the one who knows me best.

1. Waking 

My eyes open, revealing a gentle light falling across my celling. My mind slowly follows, and now I am awake... So I talk to God. I talk to God now, before I enter the day, before I am faced with the stress, and onslaught of 1,000 worries that come with this thing called life. 

I find when I lift up my worries, fears, requests, and thanks, to God, before the harsh, and unrelenting influences of life reach me, I am better equipped to handle the twists and turns that await me. I am able to make a connection to my creator giving me perspective on the life I am called to live this day.

1. Outside

I look, as far as my eyes can see nothing, nothing but the raw handiwork of God. Nothing man made, or man intended, or man thought. Only the thoughts, intentions and creation of God to surround me. It is here I can breathe deeply, and begin to sever the man-made from the God-made allowing me to directly connect with God as I am in direct connection with his creation. Being here inspires awe, stillness, and intimacy, as if I am in an artists gallery with only the artist and his work. It is here, that in addition to being known, I can know better my creator and allow my soul to draw closer to His.

1. Naked

Having been diagnosed with severe OCD at a young age, I quickly learned the shower is my safe place, my refuge, my sanctuary, a place where continuos cleansing water falls on me taking the “dirtiness” I feel down the drain never to haunt me again. So naturally I found that is was also a perfect place to talk to God. But not for the obvious reason, I found I loved to talk to God there, beneath the rushing water not because I was clean, but instead because I was vulnerable... Interestingly enough, to become clean, either physically, or spiritually, we must allow ourselves to become vulnerable in some way or anther. So the very physical act of becoming naked and cleansing my self, suddenly put my heart in a position to talk to God in a vulnerable, open and raw way. Away from any walls (physical or spiritual) I so often put up. Being naked and open in front of God allowed me to connect more deeply to his heart.

Selling God

Have you ever felt the deep longing to fill the void of something you can't quite explain? Have you ever felt a pain so deep, that would have done anything to take it away? Have you ever looked in the mirror and were scared of what you saw and wondered how you or anyone could ever truly love you if they truly knew who you were? 

If not, congratulations, awesome, now is your cue to move on to the next post...

But if in some way these questions articulate a place you have been before; that means you are not alone. But more importantly In fact, it most likely means you are human. 

But here's another question, have you ever been promised that to live a happy, fulfilling, comfortable life all you have to do is believe in God? And the is the answer to all your confusion, pain and discomfort is accepting him? Then upon following the numbered instructions of "accepting God" (like a business deal) the confusion, pain, and discomfort persisted? Me too...

So what now?

Like the adage goes "There's a God shaped hold in all our hearts" and the things we have done to fill that hole, has left a wasteland of broken people... So what do we do? We keep on looking. And some of us actually find God- but so often even when we do, we find that all along we were really more interested with trying to fill the "God shaped hole" with stuff we want, that wasn't all that "God-ish". We find all of the sudden that this God that fits in our hearts, actually doesn't especially care that we get what we want, but rather cares that we get Him; what we need.

We like God and all, but we maybe thought that when He said he would "fill the void in our heart" it would be with funner stuff, that would make life easy... This is the point, where many of us look straight into the face of our creator and say "Thanks, but no thanks." and go on living our life as if He wasn't the answer, and all of these things we would rather have will do the trick.

It's a scary feeling coming to the realization that nothing in this world will give us what we thought we wanted... Not even God. 

We like the idea of God but have found God isn't all that marketable and doesn't come with the "swag" we thought he would... SO, we (I) begin to sell God... Sell to ourselves and others. We sell God, like the rest of the world sells drugs, sex, money. Promising (convincing) ourselves and others, that God will make us "all better", take away all our pain, and make us happy...

But those who have followed Jesus can tell you, this is simply not true. Though its a PR nightmare, the answer to your problems (Jesus/God) is not going, to make you happy, take away all the "hard" stuff, or give you everything you think you want... Instead He is going to give you Himself. 

While this is a hard pill to swallow for some, the reality we come to when we let go of our expectations- is that when we enter in a relationship with our very creator, we actually get more than all of our "wants" could ever begin to conjure up.

We begin to realize that...

When we wanted to have our pain taken away... God gives us the strength to walk through it.

When we wanted a whole new story... God give us the chance to redeem the one we're in.

When we wanted to have our scares disappear... God gives us the chance to turn them into something beautiful.

Jesus, didn't come and live a comfortable life, pain, discomfort, and worry free, he lived a life of hurt, and pain, struggle and ultimately sacrifice. Jesus didn't model for us an easy life, but a beautiful one.

Beautiful is always harder, but always better.

Jesus, does not simply numb, or take our pain away, like that of any drug can promise... But instead Jesus walks with us through our pain and turns it into something beautiful. He takes broken, hurt, discombobulated us and turns us into something beautiful.

-Nathan

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photo credit: <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/dianaeftaiha/5261952297/">Diana Eftaiha</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a>

Jesus plays video-games, reads fantasy, watches sci-fi movies, and goes to Comic-Con {and you should too}

Growing up, I would often hear a couple titles constantly ascribed to me; things like “out of the box” and “imaginative” (most likely synonyms for “a handful"). But what they ultimately meant was I had a curiosity for life, and a wonder that reached beyond the mundane of the every day. Very little interested me more than stories, which naturally lendded itself to me spending my hours inside my own mind wandering the fantastic lands I would hear of in books, fighting the battles I would see in movies, and taking on the image of leading a life within a story of epic proportions. The books, films and games I would find my self caught up in, each told a story of a place more beautiful, epic, and grandiose than the one I currently lived. Filled with thought, beauty and whimsy they invited me into the magical tales they were weaving in my heart.

So now fast-forward fifteen years as me and my newly found adventure-partner (wife), climb into our ship (car) and head to something magical called Wonder-con. I had always wanted to go, but had never been able to for varying reasons such as time/money/schedule. So, as we landed in the land of Wonder-con (Orange County) and began to walk into the Wonder-con stronghold (convention center), I could feel the boy within me begin to fill with the magical excitement of entering a beautiful and epic story.

Wonder-Con is a convention held every year where thousands upon thousands of fantasy, sci-fi, superhero and all-around story lovers- convene to hear, see, taste, and touch the newest and most beautiful stories being told.

It is a place where you can walk booth to booth doing things like picking up swords, to playing the newest RPG video-game, to (my favorite) seeing up-close the beautiful works of original art and meeting the artists who brought them to life.

All of this, not to mention getting to witness the countless Cosplayers (people who dress up as their favorite characters) dressed in their handmade, intricate and beautiful costumes- making walking by a Storm Trooper, Aragorn, a Transformer, or even Superman something that falls in the realm of possibility. It’s a place where people have discovered and loosed the gift of their imagination upon the world. A place where people have realized the power of story and let its beauty effect, transform and invite us into a world beyond ours.

So naturally, as I walked past the miles of food-trucks closer to the convention center, my anticipation only rose. That was until we came upon the doors to the convention center. It was there I saw something that squelched my excitement.

There, in front of us and the thousands of excited story-lovers were a group of men and women dressed in kaki slacks, tucked in white shirts, a countenance of mild destain on their face, and large black and yellow signs in their hands that read “Sin brings God’s wrath” and “After death, the judgement” and the one that caused my heart to sink the most “Repent! and believe in Jesus”

Now at this point you might ask what it was that made me so upset upon seeing these devout followers. After all I love Jesus with my whole heart, and I do think we (all) should repent and believe in Jesus. But it was less the words on the signs that bothered me, and more the context and way they were being throw at people.

Hear me out... Here you have thousands of people, each one are story, art, beauty, and imagination lovers. All at the same place to give to and draw from the beautiful energy that each of these aspects can bring. And as they walk into something so beautiful, they are immediately confronted words representing Jesus, in a, guilt producing, fear inducing, people separating, coldly uniform way, and ultimately ugly way.

I don’t know about you, but this deeply bothered me. It bothered me because the “truth” they were espousing about my Jesus was the opposite of the message he gave his life to tell.

The Jesus I know is the teller of stories and the dreamer of dreams. He is the Jesus that told us of a beautiful land we were destined for should we follow him. A land leaving John desperate for words beautiful enough to describe this place after seeing only a glimpse of it.

(Revelation 22:1-5)

The Jesus I know, is the artist who every night paints the sky with the very colors the imagined into life. He is the Jesus that hand crafted all of nature with it’s intricate beauty in flowers, trees, animals, mountains, crystals, eyes, storms, water, and all living things.

(Psalms 19)

The Jesus I know, is the master story-teller who invites us into a new narrative of life, adventure and overcoming. He is the Jesus that’s helps us and gives us the chance to tell a more beautiful story than we ever could on our own.

(Ephesians 2:10)

So when I saw those people there, standing back to the the convention, yelling, judging and condemning... My heart sunk because I so desperately wanted everyone there, to know the Jesus I know.

I couldn’t help but see of the irony of a group so desperately trying to get the most creative people in the world to respond to Jesus, in perhaps the most uncreative way possible.

But it got me thinking... What would happen if: When we begin talking to the people who best love stories, beauty and imagination... We, instead of communicating fear and guilt, we start introducing them to the author, artist, and dreamer, of story, beauty and imagination? I don’t know, but I would be willing to guess, that maybe, just maybe some of these story/art/beauty lovers might actually want to know the creator of story/art/beauty.

So, today if you do know God, and want to share him with the world, perhaps start by showing the beauty of the God we follow.

And if you DON’T know Jesus, know this: God is the original storyteller, master artist, and the one who perfectly designed you with the desire to share in his pleasure. And he wants YOU- NO MATTER who you are, where you’ve been, or what you’ve done to join in the story of EPIC proportioned He is telling.

--

PS

I am so excited to announce I will be acting in a new Sci-Fi feature film - Keep an eye out for more details soon!

The Mind Behind

Even if we forget the beautiful design we live in, and ignore the staggering complexity and balance all life. That still doesn't touch the question of why there is something (matter) instead of nothing. Why does anything exist at all?

Well...

Imagine walking on the street and by chance you come across a beautiful painting (use your imagination). What you would most likely NOT say is "Wow what a cool coincidence that all that paint, and a frame fell together so beautifully".  Instead, you would say something along the lines of "Who painted this, and put this here?". Logic would lead you to believe that something of it's apparent complexity and reason- HAS a reason. That the art you see had an artist.

Chance had little to do with it...

Now, lets take you; a self aware, complex person, with the ability to reason and think. Wouldn't it be logical to assume you were created with those faculties by a creator WITH purpose and thought?

Lets take science on a whole. A system of laws we so desperately lean on for answers. Wouldn't the logical conclusion of the frame work of "laws" be a law giver?

As you journey through this day, I challenge you to observe the order, beauty, function, and ultimately intention woven into everything around us. And as you do, challenge your self to ask if maybe just maybe behind all this design there could be a designer...

City of Prodigals [first OFFICIAL trailer for Confessions of a Prodigal Son]

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtNHYvTW0PE?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

"I can remember coming to LA- poor, passionate, and ready to live my dreams, but what I soon found out was this dream was hard, and didn't come as easy as I thought. I began to look around me and see others, who like me, came here to Hollywood looking for something, but ultimately found disappointment and heartache in not being able to satisfy the hunger in their souls whether they achieved "success" or not. I began to notice how lost and hurt so many around me were, and I began to realize that the city that promised, to so many, the fulfillment of dreams and desires- Was in reality a concentrated gathering of the broken and hurting looking for "more". I realized that instead of living in The City of Angeles, I was living in a City of Prodigals. I had my own long nights, weeks, months, years, when I thought giving up on following god would be easier and maybe it would've been. But as I continued, even through the hardest times to try my best to follow Jesus, I began to find that the dream I had come here to find was slowly being replaced with a bigger and better dream than I ever could have imagined. Until, one morning I woke up, and felt a tug from God on my heart, to get up and write. I didn't know what to write, so I asked him, and like a light coming on above my mind, I realized it had to be the prodigal son story, because Jesus has an interest in bringing the prodigals home. So I sat down and took the story Jesus told from the bible and mixed in with my experience in a modern world and long story short, we will soon have Confessions of a Prodigal Son. A story I hope will touch many, and maybe just maybe, call a few prodigals home."

 

Today is the OFFICIAL release of the first teaser trailer with actual footage from the film! If you believe in the dream that God placed on Nathan's heart to love, redeem, and call the prodigals home- the watch, be inspired and share with others.

 

Make sure to "LIKE" the COAPS Facebook for all the up to date news on the film: https://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAProdigalSon

And Visit the website for more information and materials being posted soon: http://www.confessionsofaprodigalson.com/

Counterfeit Grace

And now that the provocative title has you here, let me explain- Gods grace: is beautiful and perfect. Our grace: is a cheap knock off of the original. And until we take on and ingest the true article, we cant know the all consuming, life changing, beautiful design of God's perfect gift.... So, how do we find this grace when so many counterfeit graces exist?

Well let's start where we all must.. Realizing our darkness.

Until we realize how dark our shadows really are, until we realize how broken and disgustingly-destructive our rebellion and sin really is, we can never know to the full extent the beauty of the a saving and loving grace that Jesus offers us so freely.

So often instead of staring our darkness in the face and calling it what it is- we justify, explain, and excuse ours and others sin. Saying "there's room for this or that" "it's not that bad" "it's just what culture does, it's okay". Then when we are confronted with our sin, we say "grace is all I need" wipe our hands and carry on business as usual... But in doing this, we are not actually living in the grace we claim we are. Instead in doing this, we abuse, contaminate, and make light of the gift if grace that was given to us-not to excuse our bad behavior but instead empower us to change!

Jesus came and died to bring a new Kingdom to earth, a kingdom that is here to redeem, remake. But also a kingdom that is here to destroy the painful, destructive power of sin and the brokenness we've allowed it to have over us. I think in our minds that Jesus simply came to say -

"never mind, don't worry about sin anymore, you're all good, so do whatever you want and 'grace' will totally cover like whatever"

But if you look at what he really said in his words and life was (paraphrased)

"I have come to give you a new way, a perfect way. Leave your old self behind and find who you were made to be in me, and yes I know that your not perfect and will fail, that's why I died for you, so that anytime you cannot do it, it's on me... But you still have to try and work everyday at forsaking your flesh and the destructive things that you have allowed you rule you, and move towards me and the beautiful, living Kingdom I have come to establish"

When we "get" and grasp this, and hear what Jesus was truly saying, is when we actually realize the depth of his love and the meaning if his sacrifice. When our darkness in confronted by his light. We can no longer live in the shadows cheeping his beautiful creation of grace he gave us out of love.

When Jesus kneeled down to a woman he had just saved from stoning for being caught in the act of adultery, first he told her that he had forgiven her sins and no one could accuse her... BUT then he tells her something else "go and sin NO more."

Isn't that how Jesus deals with us though? He kneels down with love and gentleness next to us as we lay in the ruin of our mistakes, then he forgives us extending his beautiful and amazing "grace"... So often we think this is where the story ends, this is all that needs to happen, Jesus forgives us and that's it... But wait that's not where the story ends. Jesus then helped the woman up and said "Go... And sin NO more". What!? Did you see that? Jesus doesn't just leave us there on the ground, with forgiveness only. Instead, through His strength, He lifts us to our feet and gives us a command- First to "Go", to do something, to make an action and begin to change. Then to "Sin no more", to leave the old behind and to STOP the things that brought us to the ground in the first place. Jesus doesn't just forgive us, He does one better, He sets us on a new path and invites us to leave behind our dark and begin walking into his light... So we see that grace isn't the allowance of our sin and acceptance of staying on the ground, but instead it is the empowerment to even through our mistakes continue walking on towards the Kingdom Jesus has invited us into.

God says "I am Love" Jesus says "if you love me obey me" and "I am the way the truth and the life". Let these remind you that grace is not an acceptance of your darkness but an empowerment I walk towards light.

I See God In You

We were made in the image of God.

Let that sink in, don't just hear it, then release this truth- ingest and let it become apart of you. The designer of the cosmos who holds galaxies in his hands made you, me, and us in his very image...

When we realize this about our selves, something amazing happens; we begin to see worth and infinite value that we have in been made with, not because we made it so, but because the great Mind designed and gave it to us. Allowing us to share His very image, in heart, soul, mind, and body.

And after we realize and see the intrinsic, and intentionally placed value in ourselves, we begin to see it in others. We see the very image of God in EVERYONE around us; be they black or white, rich or poor, man or woman, strong or weak. We suddenly see the value we all were created with by the master creator... It's a value that something like status, money, class, education, race or sex could never hold a candle to when trying to asses someone's true worth... How could they? How could any sum of money match the infinitely-beautiful and powerful image of God that lies upon us all, and is woven in to our very humanity.

The more we know God, the more we know his image, the more we know his image, the more we see it in the ones around us. And as we do things like racism, classism, ageism, sexism, bigotry, and hate slowly disappear, into the recognition of something greater- into the realization and recognition of the image of God is on ALL of us. The separations of the natural, give way to the inclusion of the super-natural, knowing we all bare the image of God.

So go, and begin to see the image of God in you, and the ones around you, the ones you love and the unloveable... For even when you were unlovely, God -the creator of the stars- saw not your brokenness but instead the value he had placed upon you, and gave his life so you could know just how much you are really worth.

Let

Gentle light finds it's way through through the ancient tree's arms- as finally, like a Pollock, it falls distorted upon my LA apartment building. The Burbank mountains begin to stretch and spread their arms south and north, ready, come what may. And I sit here, shirtless and still, waiting, and watching as all parts of nature each with its unique voice, acknowledges their creator. And through them he shines.

Let us turn our faces to our creator and let his light fall upon us.

The Waiting Room

The air is dry and stale and hangs still in the space, I look around the room I have become all to familiar with; Its cold blank walls stare back at me, and remind me of how long I've been in here. On the other side of the room is the door I wait to enter.

A few scattered chairs lay around, acting as remnants of the people who have come and gone into the next room. I had been under the impression that I was here first, and had my name on the list before the several individuals who have somehow come and gone in before me... But for one reason or another, here I sit, still.

I have been dreaming of what's on the other side of that door for years now, and now I sit so close and yet so far. I am kept from my dreams only by what seems to be a thin door, needing only permission from those in charge to pass through.

I pick up an old magazine and mindlessly flip through it's torn pages, while thinking of the people I have witnessed pass through the door and into the room I so desperately want to be in. I wonder if it's something about them specifically that got them in. Maybe it was their beauty, skill or personality that ushered them into the coveted room. I turn the magazine page to a perfume ad where a very fit couple -making a striking and intimate pose- stare at me from the thin paper. I begin to wonder if it's me, If instead of some people being let it in because of who they are, perhaps I am being kept out because of who I am. Maybe my resume is to small or wasn't formatted correctly, or perhaps they found out about that thing that happened last year I hoped no one ever would, or maybe they inexplicably realized I'm not as good at math as I told them I was. Or maybe they somehow saw who I really am.

Whatever it is, I think it's time to give up. I toss the magazine back onto the table beside me and slowly stand up. I look one more time at the door that now seems so impossible to pass. I put my hands in my pockets and with a final deep breath, turn and begin to walk out.

Then suddenly "Nathan"

Startled, I swing back around, and there next to the door -I had so long waited to open- is another door... It's smaller than the other one and the finish on it looks worn, but there it stands none the less. I don't know how I hadn't noticed it before, perhaps I had been so focused on the entrance I thought I was supposed to go through I hadn't noticed the one right next to it. The new door was cracked open, presumably where the voice came from. I paused shortly, then answered.

"Yes?"

"Where are you going?"

"I uh... I have just been..."

"Come on in"

I hesitate briefly, looking back at the door I had been so sure I was supposed to go through, then look back at the open door beside it.

Why Aren't You Living The Story You Were Made To Tell

God has not placed dreams, passions and gifts on your heart to be ignored. He has placed them on your heart to be realized.

God has a story to tell, God has a story for YOU to tell! You need only let Him.

But the unfortunate thing is, so many will live and die never having known the sweet, fulfilling, beautiful-taste, of living the destiny God has for them. 

How can this be? How can God have individually designed each of us with loves, passions and gifts for so many to miss the story they were designed to tell.

Could it be because all to often we say things like...

"If I had enough money, I would..."

"It would take a LOT of work and dedication, and I just don't know it I am ready to commit..."

"I'm scared"

"What if I fail?"

"What would other people think"

"That's not what normal people do"

Whether you have said these things out loud, or heard them whispered in the back of your mind. You must silence the noise and hear only the voice of God ready to narrate the story he has created you to tell. But to hear his voice, you must listen.

7 Simple Ways To Live A Healthy Life And Still Be Happy (Yes You Can Have Both)

If you are anything at all like me, you have big dreams and huge visions of an amazing life; little of which includes counting the hours until your next low calorie meal of dried Kale, just so you can reach some number on a scale that a random website said you should be at.

Since I believe in God...

I believe our creator is an amazing artist, who created food to be a wonderful, life-giving experience, meant to be savored and filling!

AND I believe he created human bodies to be beautiful, healthy, balanced, able to help us experience pleasure as we interact with the world God has crafted while carrying our the work we were made to do.

The unfortunate part, is we live in a fallen world, where we have disease, sickness, addiction and an array of other human shortcomings that seem to make the above two statements mutually exclusive. 

It is easy to sometimes feel like to be healthy, we must be miserable; eating things that just aren’t fun, and spending hours in a cold, damp place (the gym) surrounded by silent sweaty people and the sounds of clanking metal as we grow more and more self conscious, to gain a body the magazines say we need.

But then on the other hand, it’s not hard to find your self in a place where you take the enjoy life and food and drink mantra, only to find yourself in a constant place of guilt, and if not guilt simply unhealthy habits, that have very real consequences for your health and safety.

So what are we to do? 

Wait for Heaven until we can down as many bags of chips we want- and still have the perfect bod? 

Or is there a way to start moving towards the life of health that honors the creators creation- WHILE still praising God by partaking in the wondrous culinary artistry he has put upon this earth?

A lot of people know me either as the actor, or writer or hollywood guy. But what some of you may not know is that I am also an avid health food junkie and a certified-nutritionist! When I first began my journey into studying nutrition and health I began to see some easy and amazing ways to stay healthy while still loving life! Here are my top 7!

1. Water, Water, Water... This is probably the most important and simply just easiest way to stay and get healthy, in fact if you just stopped reading the rest of this post and changed nothing, but started drinking the recommended amount of water a day you would already start seeing amazing health results -cleansing, weight loss, appetite control, increased energy, and a plethora of more benefits- I know soda is good, but hey... Drink water, just do it!
2. Give Up Soda... I know, I know it’s good! But research has shown that people can weigh 10 pounds less, by changing nothing else and simply giving up soft drinks. And besides you never know what you might be missing! There are some amazing drinks (not even green ones) that are good and will make you feel awesome; like TEA- hot or iced!
3. Go Whole Wheat... If you are anything like me, when someone suggests to give up bread, (or carbs all together) it’s all you can do to not throw their kale shake in their and their ridiculous opinions face. I can’t live without my sandwiches, but making a simple change at the grocery store to 100% whole wheat bread can change you entire body. Where white bread will turn straight to fat, slowing you down... The wheat and bran of whole wheat grains will naturally cleanse your body.
4. Move! Just get up. If you are not a gym person, you don’t need to make your self one, just get up and do something, your body was made to move and dance and walk! Even just 15 min a day can drastically improve your health!
5. Go Natural... I know you’ve heard it before... But you have to, your body is MADE to eat and enjoy foods of all kinds and flavors, NOT chemicals and weird gooey lab stuff. SO just by making a choice to eat mostly “Natural” food, you will see a HUGE change in how you feel and your body will better be able to help you be your best self by working well!
6. Eat More Veggies & Fruits... We all know this already, but think of it this way, I am giving you license to eat more! You can eat as many greens and fruits as you want! BUT no cheating and frying, pouring ranch all over them. I promise after just a little while of putting some of natures veggie and fruit delights into your diet, you will start to CRAVE them!
7. Power UP! So I have always dreamed of being a superhero, so when I heard there was a list of something called the “Superfood's” I was all about them. Some of my favorites are Avocados, blueberries, mushrooms, kale, knew, Adding a few of these into your everyday, will supercharge your body and help it work the way God designed it to, not to mention will give you super strength and the ability to fly ;)

So there you have it! 7 simple ways to health that won’t make you hate life.

Try these every day and overtime I promise they will help you become the best you can be!

Why a Four Year Olds Tears are a Beautiful

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Js4YZ1z0to&w=560&h=315] This is to me deeply beautiful.

Say Something the piano ballad by Great Big World- is a gentle, powerful, and touching song that has skyrocketed into the publics ear with it's deeply personal driven lyrics about a relationship ending, haunting melodies striking heart strings with every minor note and deeply touching vocals that hold the air of someone like you or me expressing the depths of our soul.

When I first heard this song shown to me by my fiance Rachael Lee, I was suddenly hit with a blast of emotion. As each lyric and note floated through my car speakers, Memory upon memory was conjured up with each harmony sang, and minor note hit. They were real memories, close to me, each one resonating with something the artist was singing. I was brought back to the times of my life of deep doubt, and struggle when I didn't know if my now wife and I would make it through. I was forced into a beautiful slide show of the story that is ours to share but almost wasn't.

All of this because of a few notes and words strung together.

I thought maybe I had such a deep reaction to this song because of what I have been through and the experiences that have painted my understanding of the world.

But how mysteriously interesting it is to watch Young Jackson listen to this ballad. Jackson is four, and as we watch through the lens of a smartphone, this young man shedding tears as this song plays, it is plain to see, that this young man has something going on inside him in response to this song; something that is bringing a visceral and real reaction to the forefront of his countenance.

But how can this be? Jackson being only four would presumably know nothing about the the intricacies of a romantic relationship or the pain brought on from the loss or lack their of. But still Jackson is moved, deeply moved even to tears.

Could it be, that the ignition of our emotions go beyond simlpy our experience? Could it be that the deep longings we feel in response to beauty aren't learned but written on our hearts from before we can even begin to understand what they mean? Could it be that a master designer didn't leave our hearts up to chance but encoded his very being and passion into them before we even had a thought?

I don't know...

But, I know that day in and day out, I have unexplained responses to the beauty I find around me every day, and like Jackson I don't know why I am so effected, I don't know why I long, I don't know why I know why I am touched in the deepest part of my soul and feel a longing for for something I cannot explain

But, what I do know is that I and deeply moved to long for something I have never experienced before.

Out Of This World Love

It's astonashing the tangable things we will give up for the imeterial object of love. If there is such a powerful desire for something not of this world, what should we conclude then about the thing our hearts so fervently desire.

Quote #2...

Quote #2

Do we believe there is a design? If not, we are left to our fumbling human guesses at putting the pieces of an obviously broken world together.

What Happened When I Said I Didn't Know If I Believed In God

I waited with a worried heart and a furrowed brow for my parents to come and say goodnight. Usually it was a quick prayer and quick “love you goodnight!”- but tonight I had something to tell them that had been burning a hole in my heart.

I could feel knots in my ten year old stomach, while I unknowingly wrapped my fingers tighter and tighter around my sheets.

On the walls around me hung pictures and poster of heroes and great figures standing tall representing the strength a young man’s heart longs for, but tonight I didn’t feel strong or brave, as yet another distressing wave of doubt came over me.

The door swung open and my parents entered ready to send me off to bed as they prepared to end their day. After a short prayer and a pat on the leg they began to leave when suddenly I said “stop, I need to tell you something”.

Gently concerned, they turned back around and asked me what was on my mind. A bit of fear welled within me mixed with a twinge of shame as I took a breath and let it come out “I don’t know if I believe in God.” The words hung in the air, and the silence was almost more than I could bare. Then I felt the gentle hand of my mother rest again on my leg as the worry left her eyes and a sleight smile came over her face, “That’s okay.”

Astonished that my mother -the most godly woman I have ever known- so nonchalantly took in stride my doubt of God, I replied puzzled… “It is?”

“Of course” She said “Every true believer will have doubts and questions about God, that’s very normal, when I first met Jesus, I know I did. You are a great boy Nathan, and I have no doubt you’ll be a great man.” And with one more “Goodnight I love you”, my parents gently left the room taking the weight of the world I had been carrying, with them.

That night my parents gave me something amazing, through their allowance of my doubts they gave me the ability to know God on a greater scale than I could have ever known him while having a faux faith forced upon me.

From that night on whenever I would have doubts- having felt the freedom to communicate with my parents about them, I would share my struggles and thoughts. And consistently I would leave empowered in my fight. My mom would tell me “Don’t worry Nathan you remind me of the great biblical hero Jacob, who wrestled God”, “I do” I would ask wondering how? “Yes” she would say “And that’s a great thing, because wrestling is a full contact sport and when we wrestle with God we are in communion with him, which is ALWAYS a good thing.”

The song below was written years after that night in my bedroom, hundreds of miles away from my parents, in a small apartment in Hollywood. I had been going through a time of doubt and struggle with God, not unlike the struggle I faced when I was ten. I wanted to put all my fears and doubts into a song but felt a pause thinking maybe, I shouldn’t doubt God and just pretended to be okay. But then suddenly I could again hear my mother’s words echoing through the confines of my minds memories “Wrestling with God is a GOOD thing, wrestling is a full contact sport, and as long as we are in contact with God you have nothing to worry about.”

So with a pure heart, I wrote an honest song to God that ultimately brought me even closer to my creator.

That night in my bedroom, my parents gave me a gift. They gave me the gift of allowing me to doubt, struggle and fight, because they knew that is who God had created me to be. And because they allowed me to wrestle with God, they by default allowed me to be in full contact with him.

I encourage you, wrestle with God, doubt, struggle and be brutally honest with Him, He can take it, and doesn’t mind at all- when you do this you just might find that engaging in the full contact sport with your creator will bring you closer to God than you ever might have thought.

This is the song I wrote that night-

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBZu8Y3NwD4&w=560&h=315]

Get the song on iTunes here

Get the song on Amazon here

Hallelujah (I'll Still Sing) - Lyric Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBZu8Y3NwD4

This is a song I wrote in a time of doubts and questions and comes out of a very personal place. I hope my words can connect with you wherever you are and encourage you to say "I'll Still Sing"